Ever Tried Eating Your Way to Emotional Salvation?

No matter what our emotions (anger, worry, fear, depression, stress, anxiety and so on), there seems to be a general belief for many, that food will fill the void. I should know, for years I attempted to fill the emotional voids in my life with sweets, caffeine and bread, only to be disappointed when the initial satisfaction wore off way too fast.  When I was younger I had a very hard time accepting myself, my sensitivities and my “outside the box” way of thinking so much, that I often felt like a “freak” compared to my friends and my peers. So very often to comfort myself, I would “self -medicate” with food. Hoping that the more I ate, the more the hole in my heart would go away. What actually happened, was far from my intention. It resulted in malnutrition, digestive challenges, swollen joints and anxiety induced seizures and a larger whole in my heart (emotionally).

Finally I realized I had a choice; I could either continue to live my life with FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) and continue to have the host of digestive ailments, aches, pains and anxiety… or I could have door number two. A life where I am in control, and consciously choose my outcome every day, feeling satisfied and nourished in my heart, my mind and my soul. I chose door number two and have never regretted it. I may still have a day or two where I slip into emotional eating, however the difference now, is that it’s not mindless- it’s mindful. With MINDLESS emotional eating there is very little acknowledgement that food is actually entering the mouth let alone what it tastes like. It’s empty, void of anything beneficial and losses it’s taste after the third or fourth bite. With MINDFUL emotional eating, the choice being made is to be nourished physically as exploring the pleasure received from the food, as it’s slowly and methodically. Relishing in it’s very aroma, taste, texture and satisfaction received when eaten. It’s like the difference between having a one night stand, just for the sake of having sex, and making passionate love with the one person you trust and connect with so deeply and on every level-your soul mate. There really is no comparison.

One of my former clients is a perfect example of the transformation between mindless and mindful emotional eating… she works in the school system and her days are filled with little kids, behavior management, teaching life skills and cognitive & emotional development all day long. When she first came to see me she ate Laffy Taffy to satisfy her emotional desire for balance and calm in her day. In fact she would fill a glass jar of it in her classroom and often found it empty before she knew it. I challenged her to eat dried fruit (her choice of the type) without any added sugars or sweeteners instead for 7 days. Initially she scoffed and told me she was only doing this to appease me. She wanted to show me that she really could not live without her taffy. When we met again 7 days later, she was completely surprised at the results. She found that when she replaced her taffy with dried apricots, she actually felt satisfied with less, and her moods and temper were more balanced. She said she even noticed that she was able to focus more easily in the afternoons, where as before she always need coffee to get her through. I worked with her for 18 months and in all that time she said she only went back to her taffy once or twice, but never found it as satisfying or enjoyable as her dried fruits.

Mindless eating affects so many of us every day. We eat on the run out the door, in our cars, at our desks, even as we exercise… all because we are stressed out and believe we are running out of time. “There aren’t enough hours in the day”. How many times  have you heard or said THAT? Stress eating is emotional eating at it’s worst in my opinion, because it is so ignored, taken for granted and potentially deadly. No one can avoid stress, but we can prevent creating anxiety, and the negative affects it has on our body/mind. One of the things you can do to help yourself  is what I call “Stop and Do 4”.

Do Four of these, 4 times throughout the day, whether you think you’re stressed or not. The results may just surprise you. First, To the count nine exhale out your breath, letting go and getting rid of the toxic garbage bags you no longer need. Next, Inhale into your belly so it gradually expands like a small balloon to the count of 4, you will increase your oxygen intake, which often is a contributing factor to reducing stress and anxiety, increase your circulation, boost your digestive power and as a bonus, calming your mind-which reduces your desire for mindless stress eating. Next, after you “Stop & Do 4″  ask yourself what would really nourish me right now? Then listen for the honest answer…..

There are many ingredients you can choose from to transform your strategy of mindless emotional eating, mental self abuse and self disappointment, into an action plan that fulfills, empowers and nourishes you physically, mentally and emotionally. The only step you need to take right now is the first one…establish Trust.

Trust is one of the first Keys to Food Empowerment. When you learn to trust yourself, you are true to yourself.

When you are true to yourself all that is toxic an burdensome simply falls away…

Join me each month for Food Empowerment Group Tele-Coaching. It’s simply a community of women who all are working through emotional eating and stress, getting together to learn how to embrace the ingredients of true nourishment & empowerment in every area of their lives, so they can put their troubles behind them and the future they deserve right in front of them.

When you register for the series, you receive a free download of the class, a downloadable solutions handout with a monthly action assignment, recipes and personalized hand in hand e-coaching for support when you need it…

Isn’t time to stop buying into you reasons and excuses for things not going your way?

Then make your choice… door number one or will you join us at door number two?

Have you ever noticed how often we often go through our lives

without ever really thinking?

Even driving in the car can sometimes make you wonder how you were able to get from point A to point B without an accident since you weren’t really paying attention. Your focus was the worry, anxiety or other thoughts consuming your focus.

We live our lives on auto pilot and mindlessly drive our cars, choose our food, and communicate within our relationships. Very often we become so caught up in the pace we’ve created and allowed to become our lives, we’ve neglected thinking about all that we have, and constantly push to gain what we don’t have. This could be something as simple as striving to lose weight, a special relationship or earning more money. It doesn’t matter. If we don’t take the time to pause… and really THINK about what we already have within ourselves that is positive and abundant, we can’t attract more of it into our lives; no matter what it is we wish to attract. I’m not talking just about the power of positive thinking, I’m talking about forming a relationship within yourself that is filled with unconditional love and forgiveness. A relationship with yourself that is abundant in gratitude for the life you are living right now. What is it YOU are blessed with? Are you breathing right now? Are you able to experience feelings? Are you able to read this article? Do you have food, clothing, shelter, friends? This is abundance. I recently took a good look around me. Although I was grateful on the surface for who I am and what I have in my life, it wasn’t until I paused… that I realized the immense appreciation and gratitude I feel. I was at a low point, and not really sure of my direction. Totally caught up in deadlines, making money and very superficial things. The chaos was beginning to make me edgy, tense and the exact opposite of who I know myself to be.

So what did I do?

I meditated on me. I took about 10 minutes of meditation time to focus on my breathing as it is, in the moment. Not what it SHOULD be according to the latest expert I was reading, but how it actually was – right now…and I allowed myself to be okay with it. No conditions, no expectations, just appreciating my breath what what it is in this moment. Then as my body let go of its tension my breath naturally calmed and became more relaxed. That allowed me the space to look deeper within my self and open layers and unlock doors that I’ve kept locked and hidden for years. With each layer I pulled back and each door I opened I offered unconditional love for that raw, tender space within. The space that I have been guarding so intensely for so long. I gave way to love and appreciation for my core self. Gratitude for my ability to take this powerfully healing step, and for being present in this moment of truth. I bathed myself, my core, the most tender parts of me in this love. I felt so deeply that even while I was meditating, tears streamed down my face, and as I felt them I loved,appreciated ad showed gratitude for them of washing me clean of all that I need to let go of so I can live my life within greater abundance. I gradually brought myself into the present, into the room yet still carried that love and gratitude with me for who I truly was.

Since then MAGIC has been happening daily. I am discovering powerful connections and opportunities everywhere I turn for my career, deeper relationships and inner tranquility. Even when my 5 year old decides to be a Diva, I am not phased the way I was before. I am better able to find my peaceful place until she is ready to behave like a participating member of our family. That doesn’t happen when I’m caught up in the act of mindlessly living.

What will you do to show more gratitude in your life? How will you attract more abundance?

It’s all around you- you simply need to see it!

Enjoy this FREE Guided Visualization Journey to help you focus on you and your needs to feel fully nourished and empowered.

   inner healing journey download

A couple of days ago my daughter came downstairs after waking up and turned on the TV.  And the next thing I knew I was hearing David Wolfe,the rock star of the superfoods and longevity world, talking as the new spokes person for the power of the Nutribullet, by Magic Bullet. I was confused. It was an infomercial. One of the people I depended on for excellent nutrition advice that was cutting edge, and off the grid, was David Wolfe.  So for a brief moment I was a bit disappointed when I saw him with slicked back hair and following in the footsteps of so many other sales people on TV. Then I took a breath a decided to take a moment to actually hear what he was saying about this product he was hawking. I figured if David felt strongly enough about this product to endorse it, then I could at least listen to him and watch him give his demonstration. He explained how this product was more than an blender and more than a juicer, it was a nutrition extractor. It actually “extracts” the nutrients hidden in your foods. As I watched the demonstration, I became intrigued by the power of the motor.  Its centrifugal force seemed to pulverize seeds and grains as well as make greens so small that they actually blended into the smoothie and you didn’t have to chew them as you’re drinking. Imagine that, actually being able to enjoy my green smoothie and have actual greens in to and Not need to chew! Powders have such an after taste that I really don’t like using them and I’ve always been such an fan of whole foods. So I researched this amazing product online and read reviews. Then I found it available at Target for $10 less than they were selling from their website. I tried it at home with some reservations, not quite sure what to believe. I put in organic kale, blueberries, raspberries, green grapes and an apple. Followed the directions and in 15 seconds my smoothie was done. Just as promised! And best of all, there were no chunks. I could easily drink the whole thing right through my straw without anything getting stuck. I will be testing it as the days go on with some of my raw organic soup recipes, and I will keep you informed with what I discover. You may already be aware of how drinking green whole food smoothies can help you better manage your weight, clear up your skin and energize you. So I’m wondering, and honestly curious to know what your results are with this newest version of the Magic Bullet. Please make your comments below and let’s talk.

We all seem to have these unwritten rules that we live our life by, and for many of us, when we see someone else not living their life according to the same rules, often wonder why it is that this other person gets to do XYZ and we don’t.

Why is it that they get to have____ and we don’t? It can feel so unfair!

Yet these rules came into our lives for a reason at one point. Maybe they formed out of necessity because you felt you needed protection of some sort or maybe they evolved over time as you became more consciously educated about a particular area, or with life experience.

One of the areas many of us have some of the strictest rules is with our food. We get so much “up to date” nutrition information from a variety of media sources every day, that we tend to forget that eating used to be a very instinctual process. We would grow the plants we could on our land, trade what we couldn’t with a neighbor and eat what was local, organic (there weren’t chemical pesticides back then) and what felt both energizing & enriching. But it seems to have gotten much more complicated as science has gotten involved. And there are many good things science has done for us in the area of nutrition too, but I for right now, I only want to focus on the rules that we create and live by that seem to be creating stress & anxiety for us (knowingly or unknowingly), so we can talk about that benefits science has brought us at another point.

Back to you and your rules.  For many of us the rules we have about food seem to create so much guilt, stress, tension and confusion. We read labels looking for the numbers that are supposed to be most beneficial to us and tend to over look the actual ingredients. And when we do read the ingredients, many times we have no idea what exactly they are, so we hold our breath and hope for the best. Yet in both cases we have a certain criteria or set of rules, in each scenario that the food we are looking at must meet before we buy it. When we go to restaurants, we may have slightly different rules. Our rules around eating end up getting in the way of actually enjoying our food. Actually finding pleasure and joy from this natural, and even instinctual, relationship we have.

Food is life. Food is so much more than what we put on our plates and often see simply as a resource of fuel for the body. It’s our connection to family, friends, good memories, comfort, and yes, home. Why else would so many of us choose to eat what we eat when we “go off” a strict diet plan? We are looking for the comfort we’re not finding in the current diet plan to fill a void we may be feeling on some level physically,mentally, emotionally or spiritually. Through out history we have chosen our foods based on visual appearance, smell, texture and taste. It’s ingrained in us to do so.

Have you ever found yourself sniffing the fruit at your local grocery store to see if it was ripe? Squeezing a melon? What about if you were eating a piece of meat and started looking at it as if something was wrong, then sniffed it to only finally determine that it was bad?  This is one of the reasons our senses are so instrumental in selecting our food. It must fit a basic rule that we all adhere to: it must be appeal to our senses before we eat it, and enjoy it to receive the most benefit from it.

For those of us who are choosing our foods based on rules where so much math is involved, It has actually been proven to diminish our body’s ability to most effectively digest our food when it’s a source of stress. Stress turns off your body’s digestion and then leaves only one of two options available for the food you just ate: either eliminate it or store it as fat. Those strict rules you may be following every day could be the reason you can’t seem to lose weight. They could be the reason you have brain fog and experience such mood swings. They could be directly linked to all of those negative things you say to yourself every day that strip you of your motivation to be the person you dream of being.

My suggestion is to take a “food vacation” for one week simply trust yourself to make the most nourishing choices for you based on your senses and gut instinct. I’ve done this with my daughter who is currently 5. I gave her free range of anything in the house whenever she wanted it. When I want food shopping the week before I bought her what ever she said she was going to eat during that week. As a product of a household that focuses on beneficial eating habits, she was well educated on what the suggested daily requirements were. In the first day she indulged in all the foods that we call “sometimes foods”. Yet after she ate her fill, she naturally started gravitating to fruits, vegetables and  nut butters. The very menu she eats when I have my eye on her. The very menu I have witnessed, as her mother, enable her to thrive.  By trusting that our natural inclination is to care for and nourish ourselves, create balance in our body (otherwise known as homeostasis), we begin to accept that we really have no need for such strict rules when we listen to that subtle voice within that also made sure we received what we needed as infants.

The need for rules in every area of your life may have served you at some point, but what if you grew out of them? Rules are made to be broken, aren’t they?

I’d love to hear from you about your progress! 

Reply to this post or email me at FoodEmpowermentCoach@gmail.com